Happy Valentine's Day to Me!


Having a birthday falling anywhere within a month of a holiday, most men will try and co-opt it so they can buy one gift, one dinner out etc. rather than having to keep track of multiple dates and events. For me, this meant generally celebrating Valentine’s Day and my birthday together. Not having close friends to celebrate with, we would often travel to other areas of Southern California with acquaintances from work or neighbor friends. On this particular year, we decided to travel to Las Vegas to see a comedian I particularly liked. My husband bought the airline tickets and planned the whole trip. I was a little surprised but happy to have warranted this positive attention.

I made sure my sitter was available for the children and off we went. The night started off well with drinks and dinner with the former neighbors who had made the trip with us. We were seated and had watched the opening act when my husband whispered in my ear, “I’ll be right back, going to the restroom.” The show continued, the headliner came out and was as great as I had anticipated, still my husband had not returned. After about 30 minutes I realized he wasn’t coming back, the other gentleman asked me if I was concerned and I laughed and told him no, but that it was just the 3 of us for the remainder of the night. He looked at me in disbelief, but soon found out I was correct. We left the show, the other couple returned to their room and I went to my empty one. I was hurt and a bit sad, but I wasn’t surprised. My husband had used my birthday / Valentine’s Day to come to Las Vegas to see another woman, so I ordered myself a piece of cake from room service then went to sleep. He returned sometime in the very early hours of the morning with a story about taking a taxi and not being able to find one to get back, but I knew what had happened. He took me to a jewelry store that day and bought me a beautiful heart necklace. This was my reward for not fighting with him about his absence. I was numb inside and thanked him for the necklace. It was just another day for him, an awful day for me. But that was the thing – it was never about me, only about him.

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