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When you date Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde shows up….

Scary man with spider on his head, 50, Fabulous and Finally

My courtship with my ex was far from smooth, after our incredibly brief first date I was showered with flowers and invited to drive down for another date. (The idea that he could drive up and see me was clearly not an option for him.) That trip ended in a nearly fatal motorcycle accident that ultimately landed me in the hospital for 9 days. Although the surgeon wanted to admit me to the hospital immediately, I delayed the surgery until after we went on a trip to Washington D.C at his insistence. While in D.C. I went for a run to try and get my energy up as I had been told we would have a long night. Imagine my surprise upon returning to the hotel room, he was ready for us to be intimate. My leg was essentially an open wound, I was exhausted from the travel and still trying to recover from my injury. When I politely declined his offer, he flew into a rage. His fury was absolute, I was directed to get out of the hotel room immediately and he began throwing my things into a suitcase. He told me to get on the first flight out of town. I was in shock and didn’t know what to do. I just stood there laughing, needless to say this didn’t help the situation. He suddenly left, saying he’d be out for the evening. He returned about an hour later full of apologies and begging for forgiveness. Underlying his remorse was the theme that if I hadn’t refused him, he wouldn’t have “had” to behave that way towards me. He begged me to get dressed and come out with him for the evening, and I did. What can I say? Love can make you do inexplicable things.

When we returned from D.C. I was immediately admitted to the hospital and underwent surgery. I spent 9 days in the hospital! While I was in the hospital recovering and in pain I received one visit from him lasting only 45 minutes. What was I thinking? Why didn’t I run then? Because the charming, funny and attentive times seemed to outweigh these "minor" low points? The fact that he was only charming, funny and attentive when he was getting his way didn’t dawn on me until I was already in too deep.

That was the first time I had seen the rage he was capable of and over the next few weeks we would see each other frequently. Of course, he still never made any effort to drive up and see me, it was always me driving down to see him. He generally put his best face forward on these occasions luring me into thinking that the ugly outburst in Washington D.C. had been an isolated incident. His intentions seemed sincere and honorable and about 9 months after we met he proposed.

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