Loving Yourself
Breast Cancer is a cause close to our hearts, not just as women with breasts, but also as people who have seen too many friends stricken down by this dreaded disease. We lost two amazing women, teachers who had a profound impact on our children, so we dedicate this section to their memories. Terry and Sandy gone far too soon, your legacy lives on in the lives of the children you inspired.
Know what is normal for you
The signs of breast cancer are not the same for all women. It’s important to know how your breasts normally look and feel.
Many women find their breasts feel lumpy. Breast tissue often has bumpy texture. Lumps that feel harder or different than the rest of the breast tissue (or the tissue of the other breast) or that feel like a change are a concern. If you feel or see any change in your breasts or underarm, see a doctor.
Resources
Susan G. Komen 1-877 GO KOMEN (1-877-465-6636) www.komen.org
American Cancer Society 800-227-2345 www.cancer.org
National Cancer Institute’s Cancer Information Service 1-800-4-CANCER (1-800-422-6237) www.cancer.gov
Signs you should not ignore
Lump, hard knot or thickening inside the breast or underarm area
Swelling, warmth, redness or darkening of the breast
Change in the size or shape of the breast
Dimpling or puckering of the skin
Itchy, scaly sore or rash on the nipple
Pulling in of the nipple or other parts of the breast
Nipple discharge that starts suddenly
New pain in one spot that does not go away
Bra Hacks (Aka Ways to make the bra you have work rather than buying a new one!)
These are some of my favorite ways to change up or fix my bra without having to run to the store for a new one:
Underwire punctures – I don’t know if this happens to everyone but every so often one of the wire bits of my underwire decides to break free and stab me in the breast. Previously I had tried tape, sewing the hole shut and then just trying to live with it by poking the wire back in. (Not easy to do if you’re in public.) Then I discovered this trick – just take a small square of moleskin (In any drugstore or big retail grocery store in the foot section) and put the adhesive side over the hole. No more unpleasant poking and the soft moleskin doesn’t chafe. You’re now good to go until another underwire makes a break for it.
Trying to wear a cute cross back shirt but don’t have a bra with a cross back? (Or you do but its dirty, wrong color etc.) Take your regular bra, loosen the shoulder straps a bit and use a paperclip to keep them together in the middle. Easy to do and just as easy to remove afterward.
Looking to wear a backless or plunging back shirt? Take a bra you don’t mind adapting for this purpose and A) cut off the clasps on each side of the bra. B) Use elastic that is the same width as the back and hot glue the detached clasps to the end C) hot glue the other end of the elastic to the bra. Let it dry (overnight at the least) and voila! A bra that now clasps around your midsection, while maintaining support in the front.
While you’re living with a partner who abuses you, be it verbally or physically – it becomes a daily challenge to rise above their behavior and to function in life. As a mother this challenge is sometimes beyond difficult. The instinct to protect and preserve your child’s happiness is as strong as any a mother has. So it was the year that my best mom friend and I decided we wanted to take our kids to a pumpkin patch. As women of means, living in beautiful coastal Southern California, there was no shortage of pop-up pumpkin vendors for us to choose from. None of the tented, carnival type venues were up to our standards. My friend being the more on top of it mom, started surfing the internet to find our perfect location. Before long we had selected the perfect spot for our excursion. We took the kids out to a working ranch, took a hay ride, got lost in the maze, took pictures with a scarecrow, and of course, got lots of “perfect” pumpkin patch photos of our offspring. The absurdity of being so focused on finding the ideal fall location for a group of preschoolers to see pumpkins is not lost on me now. A better step would have been seeking help or counseling or doing something to get myself out of my situation. In self-help books and blogs, it always sounds so easy and effortless. In reality it is neither.
A good first step would have been to tell my friend how difficult my life was. Our kids were together almost every day, we carpooled, we lunched and we lived around the corner from one another. I had ample opportunities to confide in her – what stopped me? Embarrassment? It felt wrong somehow to admit to anyone how bad things were. Imagine my surprise to learn many years later that we were living parallel lives in more ways than I thought.
Our secret lives were dark and desperate but our public ones seemed ideal. It’s astonishing to realize that we knew each other for so long and yet knew so little about each other.
Please share your story with us at mystory@50fabulousandfinallyfree.com
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