Loving Yourself
Whether it’s the expression “New Year, New Me” or a traditional list of resolutions, we all tend to be introspective at the beginning of each new year. Some of us may want to lose weight, others may wish for better skin or to have a bigger savings account by the end of the year. A recent study showed that over 70% of American Women have some kind of fitness or weight loss goal in January, but almost 85% of these same women have given up or quit their goal by the end of February. Why? Because as a culture we don’t go in for realistic goals – we tend to “go big or go home” which leads to a cycle of disappointment and failure to achieve our goals.
Some helpful suggestions for making your resolutions stick are to keep them very realistic, in other words if you think you need to lose 40 pounds, don’t plan to lose it by the end of January. There are many apps out on the market today that can help you figure out a reasonable weight loss goal and time-frame. (My personal favorite is my fitness pal by Under Armour) Dedicate yourself to making changes that you can stick to. If your favorite meal is breakfast and you routinely enjoy eggs and bacon, don’t plan on immediately turning breakfast into a flavor free oatmeal festival. Try changing your diet slowly but also by making effective trades rather than trying to become a vegan overnight.
The keys are to make your goals REAL:
Realistic – figure out what works for you and don’t try to fix everything in one week
Enticing – pick problems you are committed to fixing, so you will be dedicated
Achievable – give yourself short term goals to help keep your motivation up
Long Term – make sure your goals work in the long term, so you can stick with your changes
The most important thing to remember is not to be too hard on yourself – small steps that lead to big gains are the way to go!
- Jan 3, 2020
I vividly remember the first new year I spent without my closest friends. Through a series of disconnected events, my husband had managed to manipulate me into believing I was better off without them. These were friends who had known me as a skinny, incredibly introverted teen and been a vital part of my teen and young adult years. The kind of friends you talked to on a daily or weekly basis, but were always sharing your life with. Because of the controlling nature of my husband, they were seen as a threat. I was easier to control and manipulate without their love and support. I can see this now, 20 years tends to give you that kind of clarity, but at the time I was hurt and confused and trying to carry on. I would still wake from nightmares of the last conversation I had with my closest girlfriend. The things she had said about my husband, as she refused to act as godmother to my child – they lingered in my mind and cast a veil over my happiness for months. I had emerged from the fight wounded and alone but had built myself back up with a thick shell of scars around my emotions and feelings. Never again would I allow another person to have the power to hurt me so. As I toasted the New Year with my husband, I embarked on my plan to surround myself with acquaintances but to eschew close friends.
It was a beautiful evening, spent at the home of a neighbor who was kind and seemed to want to become friends. I remember being cordial with her and then realizing I was on a new path now. I returned her overtures with polite deferrals and used my “work” as the barrier to future invitations. I wound up joining a book club started by this same neighbor, because my husband felt it was important for our social standing that I be included in such things. For 9 years that group was a sisterhood of women from all different walks of life, united simply by geography and a love of reading. I used to look at the closeness shared by these women with envy. I was always a part of the group, the lively one with plenty of jokes – but I was always alone. Making a connection and or having a close friendship terrified me as much as the idea of leaving my manipulative and controlling husband. He had done his work well, I had no close friends and no one to turn to when his rage came out and rained down on me. I blamed myself for everything, and that was just the way he wanted it.
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- Dec 26, 2019
Grapefruit Martini
Ingredients:
3 1/2 ounces fresh pink grapefruit juice, plus grapefruit wedge for garnish
1/2 ounce Cointreau liqueur or orange liqueur
2 ounces grape fruit infused vodka
Directions:
Pour sugar onto a small plate. Wet the rim of a martini glass with cold water; dip rim in the sugar to coat.
Fill cocktail shaker with ice; pour in grapefruit juice, vodka, and Cointreau liqueur . Cover shaker with lid and shake. Strain and pour mixture into prepared martini glass.
Add a cranberry for a splash of holiday color!
