- Aug 5, 2020
When you have been through a difficult marriage and divorce, it takes a few months for the dust to settle so that you can see who the friends are left standing by your side. In my case, I was taken aback by the gaps in my friend circle. The same friend whose children had virtually lived at my house for 4 years, who I had held and cried with through the unexpected passing of her father – gone. The neighbor I had lived around the corner from for 8 years suddenly didn’t recognize me when her eyes looked through me at the grocery store. In the beginning, I looked to myself and my behavior for answers. (I had 22 years in a marriage where everything was my fault, so why would this be different?) While I was hurt and a little lost, I also discovered the hidden gems that were still there for me – and came to realize a painful truth. For some people, if something bad happens – they can’t cope. It’s not a function of their quality as people it’s just that they lack the ability to adapt to new situations. Seeing me go from being a stay at home mom in a beautiful home to a single mom working 2 jobs and living in a tiny house, was too much to process.
It’s been 5 years since I did this difficult “friend inventory” and had to let go of some people whom I had cared about a great deal. I also discovered some “acquaintances” that were friends I had never really appreciated before. As I adjusted to life as a single, working mom I realized that adult friendships aren’t something we spend a lot of time thinking about. Like any relationship, friendship requires time and effort, and sometimes in the day-to-day life of being a mom – we forget to put that effort in. I am grateful that my current friend group is made up of women who always make the effort and do their best to set aside time for me – and vice versa. Life will always be busy but these are the people I do my best to find time for. Those who weren’t willing or able to put in that effort, I have had to let go – it hurts but once it’s done, it is very freeing.
Some tips for a friend inventory:
Is there a friend whom you frequently call or text but who never initiates contact with you?
Is there a friend who lives nearby but you virtually never hear from unless it’s their comments on a Facebook post?
Are you prioritizing a friend who doesn’t reciprocate?
The bald truth is that these people aren’t really your friends – the cursed blessing of social media means that we are all more connected than ever so it’s harder to avoid people – which is fine, but stop wasting time and energy on these people, it will never be worth the effort.
This week, we are happy to present a post contributed by one of our readers – Thank you!
We always welcome and appreciate submissions to: mystory@50fabulousandfinallyfree.com
#Priorities #Friends #Divorce #Judgement #StandingUpForYourself #Grateful #Women #WomensStruggles #SelfConfidence #Sadness #Love #Selflessness #Adults #ConfidinginFriends #FeelingAlone #LovingYourself #YoureNotAlone #Facebook #Pinterest #Instagram #50Divorced #UnfaithfulSpouse #CheatingHusband #PsycologicalAbuse #GrowingUpAbused #VerbalAbuse #BeingAbused #LivingWithAnAbuser #EmotionalAbuse #AbusiveRelationship #PhysicalAbuse #Abuse #ProtectingYourFamilyFromANarcissist #MarriedToANarcissist #BeingMarriedToANarcissist #DivorcingANarcissist #Narcissist #Narcissistic #Sociopath #MarriedToASociopath #BeingMarriedToASociopath #DivorcingASociopath #Deceipt #Deception #Denial
Loving A Bargain
Carmenet Reserve Chardonnay California 2015
California State Fair Wine Competition Results
Rated 98
DOUBLE GOLD MEDAL
Best of Class of Region
If you are having a Christmas get-together with friends and they are anything like mine, they can put away a substantial amount of wine!
I have never claimed to be a wine connoisseur and am not ashamed to say that I am probably not very worthy of an expensive bottle of wine as I could always think of better things to do with that money than to drink it. I do however like wine and I do know what I like and don’t like! On a recent trip to the desert, I stopped in to pick up a few bottles of wine for a casual get together that I was attending. I had intended to buy a much more expensive wine, but the sommelier suggested this wine instead. At less than $8 a bottle if I bought six, I was hesitant, thinking “how good could it be?” The sommelier challenged me to give it a try, claiming that it was her new favorite everyday choice and that it would not disappoint! I went with her suggestion and served it at the gathering. Every person in attendance, wanted to know where I had gotten the Carmenet, and it is now one of my (and my friends) favorites. You cannot beat it for the price!
Wine Tasting Notes
Carmenet Chardonnay is a lovely straw-colored wine with hints of apple, banana, and vanilla. This opulent and sensual wine finishes with butterscotch and tropical fruit and ends with a smooth, crisp, enjoyable finish. Enjoy.
86% Chardonnay, 5% Sauvignon Blanc, 9% Proprietors' White Blend
Alcohol 12.5%
- Jun 30, 2020
Tile
If you’re anything like us, losing your keys is a regular occurrence. A frequent complaint from my kids is that they are tired of having to help me track them down. The tile mate is the perfect solution to this problem. It’s Bluetooth enabled to work through your phone or tablet and also helps you locate your phone if you have your keys. (Another frequent occurrence for me is misplacing my phone.) My youngest daughter refuses to use a purse so is frequently setting her wallet down places and forgetting where she last put it, the tile mate has removed the stress from the “looking for” process and makes it a simple matter to find the misplaced item. The only hiccup that I have had, is if you have the app open on multiple devices while you’re trying to search for a lost item, however, simply closing out of it on all but one device quickly fixes the issue. Available on Amazon.com for $99.99 for an 8 pack or directly from tile.com for $100 for an 8 pack, this is an affordable lifesaver for anyone who needs help keeping track of his or her stuff.
